My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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