Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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