Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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