Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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