Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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