I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
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You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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