Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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