i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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