hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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