home. puking in laundry basket.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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