he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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