I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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