Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
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i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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