you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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