i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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