At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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