Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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