You smell like a Billy Joel song
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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