I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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