@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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