she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize