did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize