I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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