why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize