I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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