dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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