Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
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U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
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My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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