If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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