So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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