she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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