part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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