He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
it was like eating out sand paper
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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