I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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