he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize