I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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