1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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