I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize