yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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