i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize