can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize