The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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