I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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