she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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