I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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