I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You need a sexual gate keeper
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize