Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize