Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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