even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize