there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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