Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize